Interviewer:And here's is Captain dressed in full naval regalia and regulationred beret. Captain: A total disgrace gov'nor and I'm back in London by popular demand. Int: You are?

Cap: And some people say that I'm not that popular but I think I am! Ha ha.

Int: Captain Sensible, good afternoon, thanks for coming in.

Cap: Oh, hello.

Int: We were planing on doing this over the phone but you rang up this morning and said, "No, I'll jump on a train", and you're here hotfoot from Brighton.

Cap: Yes, well I was going to rehearse in Brighton for this show were doing tomorrow but the bass player said, "no, someone's offered me x amount of money to...", and he doesn't like me anyway. I mean, it's Paul Gray, ex-Damned, ex-UFO and he said... I'll never forget when he left The Damned, "the reason I'm leaving The Damned, Captain, is `cos there's money in metal" and I thought what a cynical swine.

Int: But he was right!

Cap: Yes, he's probably right `cos now that I'm skint I'll probably form a heavy metal band. I mean... I need the dosh!

Int: Tell us about this band who are playing tomorrow night at the Mean Fiddler. It's Captain Sensible & The Family Butcher including your old friend from The Damned. Important night this tomorrow because it's the final time that you'll be playing Damned numbers!

Cap: It is yeah, the last time I ever do that disgraceful debauchery and take my trousers down. All those horrible things, you know, that people have expected me to do over the last 15 years. I've got to call it a halt at some time because to be quite honest I'm a serious musician you know.

Int: Ha ha

Cap: Nobody takes me serious. I write piano concertos and things. You know people... all they want to see me do is like... puke up on the stage and take me pants down. So I'm doing it the last time tomorrow at the Town Country and I do apologise for it in advance and you can have your money back!

Int: It's the Mean Fiddler isn't it?!

Cap: Yes I know but nobody does that anymore.

Int: Why is that?

Cap: Because we've got all these DJ's and that making records... it's a disgrace, all rapping about how wonderful they are. Have you made one yet?

Int: No I haven't no, I cant rap, I can sing quite well but I can't rap.

Cap: I just think it's a total disgrace. Most of these bands on Top Of The Pops have never done a gig in their live. They wouldn't know a loud guitar if it fed back in their earholes.

Int: Well its kinda come full circle because when punk started, you know, with The Damned, The Clash and The Pistols, everybody said similar things about you lot... you can't play your instruments, you can't sing.

Cap: I'm totally aware of that, I really am and I know that everyone's gonna... part of the reason that tomorrow's my last show of debauchery is because people do say, "face it Cap, you are an old fart and you did say that about the Rolling Stones and you may as well bugger off and leave it to us to do it!", you know. But to be quite honest I have been continuing up to now doing it onstage, all the full debauchery and stupidity basically because none of the bands on Top Of The Pops do gigs. They don't play live, they can't play live `cos it's not much fun watching a drum machine is it? So that's why I've been doing it recently.

Int: I wanted to ask you about your thoughts on the current music scene, speaking as someone who inspired a generation, my generation and it's all his fault mother! What do you think of the Kylies Jason's apart from the drum machines.

Cap: Well Kylie herself needs a good spanking to be quite honest... for working with Stock, Aitken and whatever his name is. I heard a thing the other day...

Int: Not liableless is it?

Cap: No not at all. It's about Rick Astley and I'm not a fan of rick Astley but apparently when he got booted out from... do you know what he got sacked for? Because he decided to write some of his own songs, what a scandal, what a disgrace! He actually decided to write some tunes. So he got the boot from them and he got ostracized by the record companies for 2 years or something. Now he's making a comeback with his own tunes, I say good luck to him. He may not be the greatest human being in the world old Rick, he's not exactly Mr Rock 'n' Roll is he, but I say good luck to him because the artist has got to be charge and not the record producer.

Int: On the same theme with the current music scene, a lot of old records are being re-released, records being re-done and remixed. Are we not due a remixed version of Happy Talk?

Cap: Oh Well! I sincerely hope not! But one of these awful hip hop DJ type chappies who are currently in vogue phoned up my manager and said, "I've just done a remix version of Glad It's All Over and I would like to release it because it's going down really well in the clubs". And my manager said to him, "well that's interesting because apparently the multitrack hasn't left A&M Records". And he said, "Oh no, I've remixed it from the single!", which is as you know, the best you can get out of a single is stereo. So I wondered how he had remixed it and of course he hadn't remixed it, he's bunged on a load of old jungle drums and hip hop nonsense and he's probably some stinking rapper in their somewhere and I think it is a total disgrace! Shouldn't be allowed, but I sure it'll probably be in the charts very soon indeed. You know, I'm going on stage tomorrow playing very loud guitar and taking me pants down, right, I don't know what this has got to do with hip hop!

Int: Nothing at all!

Cap: Probably nothing, no.

Int: Listen, we'll talk more to Captain Sensible in a moment and also find out why The Damned are releasing some old tapes they found from 1982. Captain said earlier, "it's not a scam or anything, this is straight up!", More about that later. Now this is what you call Rock 'n' Roll folks! [HELP PLAYS]

Int: I don't know, all this ripping off of other people's records is terrible! That's The Damned and their version of The Beatles 'Help' from heaven knows when. All the tracks run into each other on that album and you said, "oh it doesn't matter... they all sound the same anyway!".

Cap: Oh well, yes! It's an old cliche but it was recorded in 2 days on basically a whole bunch of cider from what I remember. They do sound the same, they sound glorious I think.

Int: I'll second that!

Cap: That band certainly kicked a little bit of bum in their time!

Int: They certainly did. Now talking of that band who kicked a little bum, you are releasing a new Damned record?

Cap: Well yeah, it will probably be the very final last single and you hear multitudes of people especially in the music press saying, "good job too!", but there was a single we recorded in 1982 for Bronze Records and about 2 or 3 days after we recorded it for them they went bankrupt and all the tapes got impounded and went to a official receiver and all that stuff, and ever since I wrote this song and I really like this song called Fun Factory, all the tapes went missing and I recently found them. And I think it is doubly exciting and I do advise everyone to go and buy this thing, basically, not only because your wonderful friends The Damned have recorded this song but also because we've got a guest on it called Robert Fripp and that was a really strange thing `cos I thought Robert Fripp, you know, the wonderful musician and intelligent human being neigh the genius that he is, I thought he would sneer at a band like The Damned.

Int: I've met Robert Fripp, he's a very cerebral character, how did you get him to work with The Damned?

Cap: Well we got him drunk on a plane coming back from Munich in Germany. We were doing this dodgy old TV programme, and we got him absolutely sloshed on the plane. We said, "`Ere Fripp! You got to come down to the Hammersmith Odeon because were doing a gig there and blah, blah". And of course when we got to them 2 or 3 days later, we got the drums and the gear set up and nobody remembered it. "Remember old Fripp? Yeah he was quite cunning wasn't he!", and he turned up with his guitar case and he was practicing scales and things like that! And I said, "`old on Robert, this is THE Damned, you don't NEED to play well for this sort of thing. In fact you ought to forget the technique and just kick ass!", and of course he was a jolly nice chap. He spoke with a nice west country accent and he actually came down to the studio the next day and recorded this single with us called Fun Factory. I keep plugging it! I have to keep plugging it `cos I haven't got a copy of it with me because I gave it to some drunken swine on the train on the way up from Brighton, isn't that awful?!

Int: It's terrible, so look out for that then, the last ever Damned single featuring one of the world's greatest guitarists, Robert Fripp.

Cap: AND ME! I play on it too.

Int: Yes, you're not one of the world's greatest guitarists...the worst!

Cap: A dual of the worst players.

Int: A coming together of 2 minds obviously. Look out for that, it's on the Deltic label which is the Captain's own label. That is released shortly called Fun Factory, the last single from The Damned and also tomorrow night at the Mean Fiddler, doors open at 8 o'clock, Captain playing live.

Cap: Come down, I'll buy you a beer!

Int: Ooh dear, now there's an offer you can't refuse! Cap: What a liar! Int: Absolutely! And the last time you'll get to hear some of these Damned numbers.

Cap: There's got to be a last time for it because I'm a serious musician guys, that's the truth right! I was going to tell you what a great musician I was and people think... people send me letters saying, "Captain..."

Int: Wot!

Cap: No, "I phoned you up the other day and invited you down for a drink and you didn't come down. I never thought you would refuse a beer". As I said, I'm not constantly drunk, not constantly and totally blitzed...nobody can do that!

Int: Just a little merry from time to time.

Cap: Yes, Jimi Hendrix woke up in the morning and he has a boiled egg and a cup of tea you know, he didn't wake up in the morning and inject himself with heroin. Nobody can do that 24 hours a day.

Int: As Jimi Hendrix has obviously proved!

Cap: Well yes, he has the odd smidge, ha ha!

Int: Captain Sensible at that point in the proceedings I think we'll draw a veil over...

Cap: Derek Beatty eat your heart out!

Int: Quite where that fits into the scheme of things lord only knows! Captain Sensible thanks for joining us.